You would probably think I am the most unique person on earth. I certainly wouldn’t be surprised if that were the case. After all, I am probably the only person who has a goat for a pet.
No kidding. And his name is Willy. My brother Steve brought him to me after a spending a weekend with me at my home here in New Jersey. He did notice that I was spending more time surfing the Internet rather than eating, sleeping, and going to the bathroom.
Why he brought a goat instead of a dog, I can only guess. But Willy has been my faithful, bah-bah companion for five years now. The only complaint I have of him is that he can’t seem to wag his tail when he sees me. (And you know that tail wagging indicates a pet’s unconditional love for its master).
I also found out yesterday that he’s quite colorblind, and doesn’t know the difference between the bland green of living grass, and the vivid blue green of Paraiba Tourmaline.
I was on one of my rare bathroom breaks when it happened. The Paraiba gem was glistening peacefully on my computer desk. I think Willy came in to my office from the dining room just as I was about to close the door.
When I came out of the bathroom, I saw Willy on a gag reflex trying to expel a huge round object that was protruding conspicuously from his neck. I knew it was my Paraiba. The protrusion, however, calmly slid into abdominal abyss when I tried to wring Willy’s neck.
Now I don’t know how to get the Paraiba out of Willy, and I don’t even know how I am ever going get another precious Paraiba. It was definitely expensive at 14 carats. I had it on consignment from a Paraiba Tourmaline gemstone jewelry website.
I might have to get Willy slaughtered to get my Paraiba back. (Coincidentally, I am just neighbors with an abattoir.)
Now if I only had the strength to carry the goat there. I’ve only been eating biscuits the past five days.
Recent Adventures of Willy the Goat