[  GOAT   p r e s s   ] My Willy and My Paraiba Tourmaline

You would probably think I am the most unique person on earth. I certainly wouldn’t be surprised if that were the case. After all, I am probably the only person who has a goat for a pet.

No kidding. And his name is Willy. My brother Steve brought him to me after a spending a weekend with me at my home here in New Jersey. He did notice that I was spending more time surfing the Internet rather than eating, sleeping, and going to the bathroom.

Why he brought a goat instead of a dog, I can only guess. But Willy has been my faithful, bah-bah companion for five years now. The only complaint I have of him is that he can’t seem to wag his tail when he sees me. (And you know that tail wagging indicates a pet’s unconditional love for its master).

I also found out yesterday that he’s quite colorblind, and doesn’t know the difference between the bland green of living grass, and the vivid blue green of Paraiba Tourmaline.

I was on one of my rare bathroom breaks when it happened. The Paraiba gem was glistening peacefully on my computer desk. I think Willy came in to my office from the dining room just as I was about to close the door.

When I came out of the bathroom, I saw Willy on a gag reflex trying to expel a huge round object that was protruding conspicuously from his neck. I knew it was my Paraiba. The protrusion, however, calmly slid into abdominal abyss when I tried to wring Willy’s neck.

Now I don’t know how to get the Paraiba out of Willy, and I don’t even know how I am ever going get another precious Paraiba. It was definitely expensive at 14 carats. I had it on consignment from a Paraiba Tourmaline gemstone jewelry website.

I might have to get Willy slaughtered to get my Paraiba back. (Coincidentally, I am just neighbors with an abattoir.)

Now if I only had the strength to carry the goat there. I’ve only been eating biscuits the past five days.

Recent Adventures of Willy the Goat

My Willy and My Paraiba Tourmaline

Life Insurance Premium Financing for Willy

Entertainment Insurance for Willy's Film

 


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